Book Review: The One Thing No One Ever Tells You About Sex

Yada.

This one word is the premise for “What are You Waiting For? The One Thing No one Ever Tells You About Sex,” written by Dannah Gresh. Yada is a Hebrew word that means “to be known, to be deeply respected,” and is the word used when talking about a husband and wife “laying” with each other. It is found more than 900 times in the Bible, and aside from marital relations, it is most commonly found in verses that talk about humanity being known by God. The alternate word, "Shekalb," literally means an exchange of fluids- and is used when describing rape or adultery. So many people think that they can just exchange fluids with someone, and come away unharmed. But when your soul is looking to be deeply known and respected, as is the purpose of sex, and you just “exchange fluids,” you are setting yourself up to be deeply unsatisfied.
Gresh strives to show us that sex isn’t just an exchange of fluids, but it is “an exquisite revelation of a much greater love,” e.i- a picture of our relationship with God. Amen. 

While reading the first chapters of this book, I was turned off by the sort of “shock jock” literary hooks and emotional chick flick definitions of romance.  So I put my super critical glasses on and prepared to deal with whatever horrible theology was about to be thrown my way. After reading the book in its entirety, I came to the conclusion that the first two chapters should be cut from the book, leaving an age appropriate (written for young adults), challenging, redeeming, truthful nutshell exposition on sex.

I loved Gresh’s treatment on counterfit love via “friends with benefits,” as she includes interesting and easily digestable scientific research on hormones and brain functions. I love how she discusses the quest we all have for love, “to be known and respected,” and how the enemy often turns this search into an unsatiable desire for unhealthy love.

“Every man who knocks at the door of a brothel is looking for God.” –G.K Chesterton.

I was encouraged by Gresh’s stance on same sex attraction, as she challenges the reader to replace lies with truth, drag struggles into the light, and get help from fellow Christians. Isn’t that what we are called to do as Christians- admit we are sinners?  James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” She also talks about pornography and other “unmentionable” sexual sin. I liked that she talks about it in regards to both men AND women, and how “sex is not a solo sport,” (the title of chapter nine).  She offers the idea of forgiveness, and being made whole in Christ as the ultimate solution.

In Chapter 14, Gresh pulls out Ephesians 5 as a biblical model for finding a mate, and I whole heartedly agree with this whole chapter. She talks about finding someone that is showing signs of what Ephesians 5 talks about. I was actually surprised by this chapter, as it seems to contradict what she says in chapter two about what kind of love to be looking for. But I will eagerly take it.

Anyways, this book does struggle slightly (in my opinion) with romanticism, the idea that you want some epic  pursuit with flowers everyday ending with a carriage ride and then a marriage proposal kind of romance. If I had a daughter, would I give it to her to read? I think I might, as long as a discussion followed it up. Would this be my definite first pick for a book on the theology of sex? Probably not so much. 

“I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review”.

Quick No Bakes!

Every year, (Since last year, haha) some people from my church get together for a Cookie Exchange! Everyone brings 2 dozen of their favorite cookies, and you end up coming home with about 3 dozen different and delicious cookies from everyone! Depending on the amount of people, you get about 3-10 of each different cookie!

This year I was a little short on time, and a friend had recommended these delicious Chocolate Oatmeal No Bake cookies. As soon as I heard no bake, I was all over that. With the help of my roommate and a friend, we whipped these bad boys up real quick. Here is the recipe and some pics from the cookie Exchange:
Chocolate Oatmeal No Bakes

2 cups sugar
1/2 cup cocoa
1 stick butter
1/2 cup milk
1 tsp. vanilla
3 cups quick-cooking oatmeal
1/2 cup peanut butter

(coconut- optional)

Combine sugar, cocoa, butter and milk in a saucepan. On medium heat, bring to a boil for one full minute.Remove from heat. Stir in peanut butter (optional), vanilla and oatmeal.
Drop by spoonful onto wax paper. Let cool for at least 30 minutes.

Lisa and I with some of our delectable selections!

So much fooooood! Our hostess definitely has the mostess! haha

Do you have a favorite Christmas cookie?

Service Instead of Service

Lately there has been a bunch of churches swapping their Sunday morning services out for "service" in the community... involving a wide range of things from cleaning up a park to handing out water bottles to joggers.

A while back I was struggling with the biblical "idealness" of concept, (I think it is NOT ideal, or a even a great idea) and couldn't exactly organize my thoughts in the most effective manner, as you would probably be able to ask my sister. Haha.

Well, I love this new blog post from Kevin DeYoung, and think he communicates the topic in a clear and compelling light and have included the link below:

Should Churches Trade in Services for Serving? (link)

Here are the major points of the article, but I encourage you to read them in their entirety.

1. Consider practically if this is a good strategy. 

2. Consider if there is good (or any) historical precedence for routinely canceling your worship service

3. Consider that all of life is worship, but corporate worship is still unique.

4. Consider what it may communicate when you replace services with serving. 

5. Consider that corporate worship is a means of grace.

What do you think? Swapping service for serving?

"About Love, or, Why I Hate Attraction."

I love CCEF (Christian Counseling and Education Foundation). I literally aim to read all of their books, blogs, booklets, web content, and heck I would go to their school if I lived in Philly. They are legit, bible based, gospel oriented, and rock solid. And so I figured I would share the love.

Ed Welch recently wrote an article titled "About Love, or, Why I Hate Attraction," and its super interesting. If you have been around me for more than 231431 minutes, you will know how I stand on relationships and attraction. No, I DO NOT hate attraction, and I am NOT some sort of crazy prudish love hater.

I just think the role that so many people place attraction in, the center role usually- well, needs to be rethought a little bit.
I IMPLORE you to read the whole article. Click the title below.

About Love, Or, Why I Hate Attraction: by Ed Welch

Here is a tasty tidbit:

"Attraction is fun, and in Western systems of courtship and marriage, it is the way couples get started, but attraction is about me. It’s about how someone makes me feel. In that sense, attraction is rubbish. It gets people together but it is powerless to keep them together. Even more, attraction, without the addition of other forms of love, promises to separate marriages and any once-close relationship."

Amen brother, and I would possibly go so far to say that this kind of love should be adapted and applied to all Christian relationships. Example, are we "attracted" to your friends, because they can do something for us? Are we "attracted" to our church because of how it serves our "needs"? Or are we loving like Christ has called us to?


Thoughts?

Fighting for Joy and I-O-U-S

Honestly, I have not been very joyful lately, and sadly more than a few people could probably testify to this. It has been an uphill fight to keep the joy of the Lord as my strength- instead of letting lies and sin contribute to my weakness.

Recently while reading some blogs, I stumbled across this blog which featured a quote from John Piper's book "How to Fight for Joy" and it really hit home. The following chunk has been a helpful tool to aid me in seeking God. Take a gander:

I—Incline "Incline my heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain." (Psalm 119:36)
O—Open "Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law." (Psalm 119:18)
U—Unite "Unite my heart to fear your name." (Psalm 86:11)
S—Satisfy "Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days." (Psalm 90:14)


I—(Incline!) The first thing my soul needs is an inclination toward God and his Word. Without that, nothing else will happen of any value in my life. I must want to know God and read his Word and draw near to him. Where does that “want to” come from? It comes from God. So Psalm 119:36 teaches us to pray, “Incline my heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain!” Very simply we ask God to take our hearts, which are more inclined to breakfast and the newspaper, and change that inclination. We are asking that God create desires that are not there.

O—(Open!) Next I need to have the eyes of my heart opened so that when my inclination leads me to the Word, I see what is really there, and not just my own ideas. Who opens the eyes of the heart? God does. So Psalm 119:18 teaches us to pray, “Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.” So many times we read the Bible and see nothing wonderful. Its reading does not produce joy. So what can we do? We can cry to God: “Open the eyes of my heart, O Lord, to see what it says about you as wonderful.”

U—(Unite!) Then I am concerned that my heart is badly fragmented. Parts of it are inclined, and parts of it are not. Parts see wonder, and parts say, “That’s not so wonderful.” What I long for is a united heart where all the parts say a joyful Yes! to what God reveals in his Word. Where does that wholeness and unity come from? It comes from God. So Psalm 86:11 teaches us to pray, “Unite my heart to fear your name.”

S—(Satisfy!) What I really want from all this engagement with the Word of God and the work of his Spirit in answer to my prayers is for my heart to be satisfied with God and not with the world. Where does that satisfaction come from? It comes from God. So Psalm 90:14 teaches us to pray, “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.”


God, help me to find joy, and that that joy will be purely in your wonder and perfectly holy self.
 

The Soul of Russia: Fascinating Look Into Russian Orthodoxy

This article from National Geographic is literally the most fascinating article I have ever read on the Russian Orthodox Church pre- and post Soviet Union. The article chronicles an introspective man’s journey and observations about the battle that the church has faced in the past 80 years. It goes on to tell of some of the victories that the Orthodox church has experienced, as well as short comings and failures.

This article slightly touches on the friction between western denominations, or “sects,” and the people of Russia, as well as the perceived desire for the Orthodox church to become the state church.

 I recommend that you check it out. click the title below.

Soul of Russia By Serge Schmemann 


Interesting tidbit:
"The Soviet regime was the product of faithlessness, but at least it allowed real believers to live the flame of faith," he says. "Today we are more concerned with fighting sects and 'enemies' than with repentance. These forces are tearing the church from within."

According to Nikolai Mitrokhin, a historian and critic of the church, about 60 percent of Russians today identify themselves as Orthodox—they may be baptized, married, and buried in the church—but less than one percent actually enter a church at least once a month. Other sources put the figure closer to 10 percent. One reason for the sparse attendance may be that the Orthodox Church is not entirely friendly to people who are casual or clueless about its hallowed traditions."