Top Ten Biblical Ways to Acquire a Wife

This cracked me up, (I couldn't find the author.) 
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Top 10 Biblical Ways to Acquire a Wife 

10. Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3) 

9. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. (Ruth 
4:5-10) 

8. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim 
her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. (Deuteronomy 21:11-13) 

7. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one 
and carry her off to be your wife. (Judges 21:19-25) 

6. Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his 
daughter for a wife. (I Samuel 18:27) 

5. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. (Esther 2:3-4) 

4. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his 
flock. (Exodus 2:16-21) 

3. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, “I have 
seen a woman; now get her for me.” If your parents question your decision, 
simply say, “Get her for me. She’s the one for me.” (Judges 14:1-3) 

2. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. 
Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years 
for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That’s right. Fourteen 
years of toil for a woman. (Genesis 29:15-30) 

1. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you 
a rib. (Genesis 2:19-24)