In What Ways Have I Seen God's Grace to Me Lately?

As I was provoking my mind to list the many ways God has shown me grace lately, a poem that I had written in 2003 came to mind. It is quite simplistic (and strangely philosophical), but does the job of reminding me of the many, often forgotten graces God has extended. I can imagine as a seventh grader just coming home from a long walk down by the canal, or maybe coming inside after a long day of reading on the swing in the back yard and reflecting on God's goodness to me.

God is Great
By Alissa Graham (2003)


Blades of grass and every tree, 
shows how good God is to me.
He pours down rain to wash away fears,
He has guided me well through the years.
The sky above proves God's presence,
Flowers remind me of his essence.
All the rocks and the deepest sea,
Shows how great God is to me.



Today, as I reflect on the ways that God has shown his care, love, forgiveness, and grace to me, I am overwhelmed to know that He has welcomed me as a beloved daughter in His family. He does not condemn me or hold me guilty, but "he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant," and brought provision and wholeness. He is my almighty Father who is ultimately worthy to be praised.

No Comparison

No Comparison

by Alissa Graham

1 you said I was never as interesting

as car races and tools.

2 you said I was pretty,

Enchanting even, and cool.

3 You said I was beautiful

A glorious creation, a perfect jewel

1 you sometimes cared,

when you averted your eyes from self.

2 you cared quite a bit-

in my pursuit you prided yourself

3 You cared tremendously.

The evidence: to sacrifice oneself.

1 When our lives got hard,

you chose flight.

2 My foolish barriers went up,

and you didnt even fight.

3 I whored myself,

and You married me despite.

At the end of the day

There is only one left.

Number one is my father

Number two is theft

Three is easy

In God I may finally rest. 

Trust. Rescue. Abba.

I wrote this poem tonight because I'm struggling with trusting in God as my father. 

When my heart struggles to trust, I must ask God to help me and rescue me from myself.

Abba, Please

by Alissa Graham

Grant me help to be your daughter

though I struggle with the concept of father.

You are loving, kind, and good

and in you, evil, my heart withstood.

Grant me divine eyes to see

that you haven't really given me

a rock though I asked for bread,

or a snake rather than a fish, though I pled.

Grant me grace to trust in You

when I cant fully understand the truth.

When I misread the rose for the thorn,

the gospel is what I must adorn.

Grant me peace among this rocky sea

that this peace shall quell the unease.

When I lack and have nothing that will tide

help me look to you to provide.

Grant me forgiveness, as you know I will fail;

Your loving sacrifice was the perfect bale.

When I waver from the foundation-

Abba, please, persevere me for the duration.

National Poetry Month

While I am no connoisseur of poetry, I do enjoy it quite a bit. I actually have a poem of mine printed in one of those International Poetry Society books, and I won a county wide contest for a poem I had written. This love for poetry was also fostered by my high school English teacher Mrs. Attfield. She would pick the best poems for us to read and we would think through them line by line, my mind fully engaged and almost excited at the task.

Anyways, this is National Poetry Month! (who knew?!) I figured I would enlighten you with some delicious mind candy.

First of all, you should sign up HERE for a Poem a day to be sent to your email for the month of April. Sorry it is already halfway through the month. But there is still time!

Request the cool poster from this month for FREE.

National Poetry Month activities at the Providence Public Library

HERE  is a small collection of some poems I have written.

Below is a great poem for all single people. Good stuff:



And now for one of my all time favorite poems.

Much Madness is Divinest Sense

 by Emily Dickinson (1830–86).  Complete Poems.  1924.

MUCH madness is divinest sense
To a discerning eye;
Much sense the starkest madness.
’T is the majority
In this, as all, prevails
Assent, and you are sane;
Demur,—you ’re straightway dangerous,
And handled with a chain.

What is your favorite poem? Do you read poetry often? 
I would love to dig up some deep theological poetry, so if you know some authors, please share!

A Grief Observed

by Alissa Graham

Maybe the icicles on my eyes

from the arctic wind that makes me cry

Will plummet into my heart

And break the walls, the chains, apart

If my house was one built of cards

the sooner knocked down the better

and only suffering can do it,

the wrecking ball swings with ease

Grief is like a long valley

A winding road revealing new landscapes.

Maybe loneliness will be invaded

By the joy that’s been on hiatus

Oh lord, I can only pray.

"A corpse, a memory, a ghost.

All mockeries and horrors," CS Lewis said

these three words are simply

three more ways of spelling the word

“dead.”

(excerpts taken from A Grief Observed by CS Lewis)

Bountiful Thankfulness

This is my favorite prayer from the Puritan prayer book, Valley of Vision, and at the end one of my favorite psalms. 

Have a great day of Thanksgiving.

Bounty:  

Thou great and only potentate,

Thou hast made summer and winter, day and night;

each of these revolutions serves out welfare

and is full of thy care and kindness

Thy bounty is seen

in the relations that train us

  the laws that defend us 

  the homes that shelter us

   the food that builds us

   the raiment that comforts us

   the continuance of our health, members, senses,

      understanding, memory, affection, will.

But as stars fade before a rising sun,

 thou hast eclipsed all these benefits

 in the wisdom and grace that purposed

 redemption by Jesus thy Son.

Blessed be thy mercy that laid help on

  one that is mighty and willing,

 one that is able to save the uttermost.

Make us deeply sensible to our need of his saving grace,

                                   of the blood that cleanses

                                   of the rest he has promised

And impute to us that righteousness which justifies the uilty,

   gives them a title to eternal life,

  and possession of the spirit

May we love the freeness of salvation, and joy in its holiness;

Give us faith to grasp the promises,that are our hope,

Keep our hearts from straying after forbidden pleasures;

May thy will bind all our wishes;

Let us live out of the world as to its spirit, maxim, and manners,

  but live in it as the sphere of our action and usefulnesss;

May we be able to live to every call of duty, accepting without question

   they determination of our circumstances and our service.

[The Valley of Vision, pg 212)

Psalm 13:4-5

But I have trusted in your steadfast love;   my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.

I will sing to the LORD,   because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Sudden Sight

Sudden Sight
by Alissa

the longings of my heart
a blatant picture of what I hold worthy
how Ive spent my time, attention, love, money
at best, a sad picture daily

my heart is a deceitful liar
that must be shod with redemption
it is an idol factory
that must cease production

let the desire of my heart
be my delight in Christ
let my delight in Christ
be the desire of my heart

Until Ive spent it all for the cross
giving my existence to what is worthy
I must cling to salvation
God, point me there daily.

Beyond Words

Beyond Words

by Alissa

Toska, a sick pining for which nothing will satisfy

vague restlessness, no answer

we gaze.

Mamihlapinatapei...

and it happens again and again.

But nothing ever happens.

a jayus, we cannot help but to laugh

despite the lack of humor.

the reality breaks through.

litost. tears.      toska.

Луна поцеловала наши лицас

его сияющим мягким

жаромчерез темноту это сияло

we cannot plimplamppletteren. like old.

just empty skipping syllables.

refrain. dont tingo what I have in my heart,

slowly, unknowingly it could happen.

it is diaphanous, cant you see? but full.

I've heard,

there is a remedy. opposing toska. opposing poshlust.

Mellifluous, cadence- susurrus, from above.

we need to try.

Cant you hear it?

Above All, My Hope Is In You

Above All, My Hope Is In You
by Alissa M Graham 

Above all, You are my Sustainer
My hope is in your goodness
When I crave what will die
Lord revive me in your satisfaction

Above all, You are my Guide
My hope is in your sovereignty
When I lack faith
Lord, reconcile me with your wisdom

Above all, You are my refuge
My hope is in your comfort
When I face loneliness
Lord, rekindle my desire for your love

Above all, You are my defender
My hope is in your mighty Fortress
When I run in fear
Lord, reinforce me in your strength.

Above all, You are my teacher
My hope is in your counsel
When my ignorance is rampant
Lord, reform me in your truth

Above all, You are my Perseverance
My hope is in your eternity
When I start to lose endurance
Lord, refute my fleeting ways with your everlasting attributes

Above all, You, Jesus Christ, are my Saviour
My hope is in your resurrection
When my sin seems overbearing
Lord, remind me of your salvation.

Psalms 71:14, 19-21
 But as for me, I will always have hope;
  I will praise you more and more.
Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God,
  You who have done great things.
  Who, O God, is like you?
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
  You will restore my life again;
  from the depths of the earth
  You will again bring me up.
You will increase my honor
  and comfort me once again.

The Night Likes to Steal Me

By Alissa Graham 

The night likes to steal me
before I think about the morning,
the evening seems to lure
with a long sleepless warning.
An over active mind
lacks the will power to rest;
A book calls my name at midnight
as I delve into its quest.
I come up with the most creative things at one am
And by two Ive been tricked.
Two thirty makes no difference
and three is a jiff.
Three thirty has droopy eyes
but there are still things to say.
And 4am sometimes waves hello,
and the night waves goodbye.
But then as morning approaches-
a soft ray of light,
my body collapses,
from the sun down soiree.




---More about my ridiculous insomnia another time =) ---
-Alissa-

An Idol of Sorts

An Idol of Sorts
by Alissa Graham

cant seem to attain the one thing
that has always eluded me.
the thorn in my side
that exists because its not there.
believed so many lies
and sought with deceptively blind eyes

never seen it for myself
but continually in everyone else
makes me think someone is holding out
a glorious taste, bountiful cuisine
but there is a secret password to unlock it
and I dont have the ability

got the feeling
its time to lay down the frantic search
because God alone is my portion
tastes better than all glory combined
time to cast it to the side
because God alone satisfies.

not good at giving up what im pursuing
i strive so hard
to get where im going
but it needs to be done
as time after time its hindered my being
an idol of sorts, feared by me

God knows the desires of my heart
and he wont cheat me from what I need
but I have to pray
and make sure what what I want is what I need.

Guest Poem

A Cup of Tears

By Nathaniel DiLorenzo

A cup of Tears from you and me
A cup of tears is what I see
He holds them in his hands
Each drop a painful memory
A memory he understands
A single tear falls softly in
One of his own and clear of sin
I know I know He quietly speaks
It’s hard for one to live who seeks
Who seeks who seeks to live the truth
And fights and fights through all his youth
Just keep on pressing through
I’ve promised to help you
These tears will one day be forgotten
Poured upon the ground
And all that’s hard and all that’s rotten
Tossed away without a sound
I beg I beg just please stay true
Remember how much I love you

So this is a poem by my friend Nathan. He is a really awesome guy, originally from NY but living in Denver-ish CO area. I mentioned his brother in the last post, Isaiah.  They are probably two of the most godly guys I know, and I am encouraged by them often, even if we dont get to talk or see each other all that regularly. Nathan went to Japan on a missions trip this summer, and Isaiah went to Ethiopia with my best friend's brother. (sometimes they even use pirate words in regular conversation. Aye!) I relate to his poem 1. because I love poems with repetitive qualities, as that tends to be my style. It brings an urgency to the words.   2. Because its soo true and who cant relate? Sometimes we have all this angst or sadness or heartache, and maybe we forget that Jesus can relate, heck he can relate more than anyone ever. Imagine all the heartache or despair that he could have succombed to. Ahh, so great poem Nathan. Keep fighting the fight. Remember that we have someone who is always interceding for us. 

Dont ya just love the awkward color bead thing? I dont know why I used that. Oh well.

Roasty Toasty Princess!

Decided that I should use the photo mat that I had laying around for ridiculous midnight arty times. Its now crookedly hanging in the dining room. I wish I had spray paint.

No Just Isnt Good Enough
By Alissa Graham
For some reason Ive got it in my head
that no just isnt good enough
and telling me such isnt good.
I dont believe you're being honest
even if you swear truth till your dead.
Surely you think Im a monster
but I promise I'm never wrong when Im like this.
Dont look back and just walk this way,
even if it's just for kicks
I promise I'm never wrong when I'm like this.
You bet Ive heard more no's than not
but to every one ive said yes to that.



                                                                     kitty loves a bow.
and if you can figure out what "Roasty Toasty Princess" is from I will literally give you a dollar. Kailey cant win.

Ardent

Ardent.
By Alissa Graham

Im desperately desiring God as a destitute nod
to my exasperated weakness
and as I ardently ask what I can do
in order to extravagantly express this truth
You tell me to selfishly surround myself with You
in order to reboot from this rusty state and renew

So now Im passionately pursuing some purity
and trying to take heed in this security
of never direly delighting in the darkness
but to love loving you in the light place

Im beautifully benefitting from this boldness
the kind that captures basically the core of it
to keep seeking sight of God's spirit
and to never nod my head to the negative.