DC is fun.

Hey just hanging out here in Nathan's back yard.. a few blocks down from the capitol building. Its pretty sweet here and we are loving every minute of it. We ended up meeting up with some other people from Prov that randomly were here too and we got some delightful good over in Old Town.. The Majestic. Soo good. We've also seen every sight in DC that you could ever think of. Talk about intense.

Cant chat right now, but I have tons of stories and pics for when we get back. Leaving tomorrow morning bright and early. 

Last minute road trip!

So I am going to Washington D.C. tomorrow with my friend Elyse to meet up with our bff Nathan whom we havent seen in such a long time! This trip was planned on one day notice! haha. I cant wait to see what all we will be doing. I imagine alot of this:


(aka random driving around at midnight and entertaining ourselves.) We always find fun in the most random places. Aww. Lots of pics to come, Im sure.

On Tuesday I am headed somewhere in Massachusetts for a leadership retreat.
I probably wont be back around these parts until next weekend (Rhode Island or blogland).

Peace out. Feel the love. God Bless=)

An Idol of Sorts

An Idol of Sorts
by Alissa Graham

cant seem to attain the one thing
that has always eluded me.
the thorn in my side
that exists because its not there.
believed so many lies
and sought with deceptively blind eyes

never seen it for myself
but continually in everyone else
makes me think someone is holding out
a glorious taste, bountiful cuisine
but there is a secret password to unlock it
and I dont have the ability

got the feeling
its time to lay down the frantic search
because God alone is my portion
tastes better than all glory combined
time to cast it to the side
because God alone satisfies.

not good at giving up what im pursuing
i strive so hard
to get where im going
but it needs to be done
as time after time its hindered my being
an idol of sorts, feared by me

God knows the desires of my heart
and he wont cheat me from what I need
but I have to pray
and make sure what what I want is what I need.

I Dare You

In 3m 1s

Click here to Play

....to beat me. Betcha can't.
Share your results in a comment. Im interested.


My New Record:

In 2m 36s

Click here to Play

People are beating me left and right though. Dang.

Lets Be Real

"There are many lovely people in this world. Why do we single out those whose actions anger us? Celebrate the good. Embrace a gentle spirit." -Anne Jackson


"There are people in this world that deserve your emotions, and those that don't. Choose the former to focus on." -Scott Stratten




Agreed. and hitting home this afternoon.

Experience New England: Whoa, what a rush

So this past weekend my friends visited me. I havent seen them since March, and its been a long time coming. I honestly cant believe they made it here, and I was so excited to see it happen. Bryan, Janelle, and Casey left New York around 10pm Wednesday night and arrived here in Providence about 5amish. We slept for a lonnngg time and got our day started around 3pm. haha. We went to Trader Joes, played with some puppies at the Rumford Animal Store, and did random running around. We made a huge dinner of broccoli lo mein and Beef on Weck and Matt, Jon, and Eileen were able to join us! Friday we headed up to Boston to do some exploring. We ended up walking alot of the Freedom trail and discovered the Boston Green Festival going on! It was a bunch of tents and displays all set up in Gov't Center. There were free samples of all sorts of tasty "green" foods, as well as live music, and nice people. Im pretty sure it was about 3000 degrees in Boston. Everyone was sweating and it was kinda nasty. But oh well. We walked over the the North End and ate some delights at Mike's Pastrys, went to the Old North Church, and Found an awesome farmers market and water fountain to play in!

Saturday we went to the Beach somewhere in Middletown RI. I think it might have been an illegal beach, as we got a parking ticket, and no one else was really at that area. But.. oh well. It was fun and being in the water was absolutely awesome. Afterwards we drove down Ocean Drive through Newport and saw all the swanky houses. We came back, and I had to go to freaking work at the crabshack, and waterfire was that night, so I went to work and met up with my friends later after I closed. Then we walked to Waterfire and met up with a buttload of other people.

Sunday we woke up, went to church, came home, ate glorious delights of eggplant, mushrooms, feta, onions, bacon, and peppers on a sandwhich. Oh my Lord. Good job Casey. Then we rested, made some guacamole to bring to Bible Study and headed over there. After that we drove around Providence, went to a little indian store, and ended up at India Point Park (where else would I end up?). And that was fun. Until we heard gunshots and we headed back.

They left this morning and I'm sad. It was good to see them though, and combine Providence with Lockporty times. I loved that we've kept in touch so well that it wasnt necessary to have huge ridiculous intense times, but it was just like hanging out back home in Bryan's basement.

We actually set up a lair in my living room, pulled in the extra matress, unfolded the futon, and we basically camped in there the whole time. It was soo blazing hot.

Ahh. So fun times. =) I love my friends.

I dont know what Im saying anymore.

JWU Caller: Can I be directed to the department of education?
Me: Well, we are a school.

-----------------
Kailey: Hello?
Me: Johnson & Wales University, how can I direct your call?
Kailey: What?
Me: Oh, whattt.
Kailey: BHAHAHA, I cant talk right now, goodbye johnson and wales.

------------------------

Im having a case of confused words, mixed with auto pilot, mixed with, Im tired of answering phone calls. I called my sister and then accidently asked her how to direct her call. And I cant speak. And sometimes when Im reading something online and taking a call, I say those words instead of the JWU phone prompt. I need to a. get more sleep? b. focus.

And I cant stand the sound of people chewing. It drives me crazy mad. Doesnt matter who or what or where. Im sure my family might recall times where I would be reading the paper at the kitchen tables some Sunday mornings, only to have to go sit in the other room when someone came in and started eating something. I dont know how to stop focusing on the sound. Its similar to my blatant HATE of feet. Everyone has these two things, everyone has to eat, and mostly everyone has feet, but I cant get over it. I would rather gouge out my face with a blunt object that be subjected to a silent room with someone else chewing.. oh goodness imagine if they had nasty feet frolicking about. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This weekend went by very quickly. I dont even remember what happened. Last night was Bible Study at the McKays. We heard a quick talk on the goodness of God and how thankful we should be. Also, that he is sufficient for everything we need. Its funny how everything always ties in. I was having a similar conversation with Janelle about putting other things above God. She shared with me a very relevant quote:

"At the root of covetousness is a rejection of God's sufficiency. Covetousness destroys are ability to discern sufficiency."

So true.
hmm.

One of my roommates is moving some stuff in to the apartment this week. Shes not staying for good though. Both of my permanent roommates will move in in about 2 weeks. I am really excited.

Also excited: Casey, Janelle, and Bryan are LEGIT coming on thursday. No joke about it. Its actually happening. I give them mad props for making this happen.

Free Things!

Come On.. who doesnt love FREE!!

The Dress Up Drawer!
She is having basically an ETSY giveaway galore, along with some other blogger treats!
Enter to win awesome things such as: cute gnome themed stuffed animals, baby blankets, hair bows, little kid stuff. Its so cute. Think: Etsy Cute. I dont have a kid... but maybe I will just enter and if I win I can give it away as gifts! She is also giving away beautiful wall decals, crafty bowls, homemade soaps, craft bags, and dang.. who doesnt love pocket sized book of mormon (kidding?) and premade blog templates.. yeah man! Go enter!
(one new Etsy Shop that I now LOOOVE is Elm .go look. Based in Buffalo Ny! Didnt even realize that! And she is giving away one item)
HURRY UP!! GIVEAWAYS END ON AUGUST 22nd!




Fantabulously Frugal (I love this site. I won a gorgeous lamp earlier this summer)
Freebie: Cool Citrus juicer
Freebie: Target Stuff
Giveaway Stila make-up kit.



Steals & Deals has some glorious giveaways.
Giveaway: Carolina Notepad (these are soo stylish!) seriously.. go check it out!
Giveaway: (ten winners!) Happy Napkins ..hilarious napkins


Other Free Stuff:
*Sign up with Nature Valley and receive a free Trail Mix Bar plus Granola Nut Clusters.

*Pink Lotion- Print coupon at bottom of page and take to any Victoria's Secret before Sept. 7th for a free 1oz Pink Body Lotion.

*Kiwi Splash- Get two free samples from Healthy To Go - Omega To Go and Berry Crush drink mixes.

*Free sample bar of caffinated body soap.


Comment and let me know if you enter any of these or if you win!!! How exciting!
I love blogger giveaways. Remember the awesome lamp that I won?
You never know!

Redeem

I know exactly what I did and why it didnt work. You cant just ignore hurt or sin until it goes away, because it never will with that mindset. It might be hiding away in the back closet that you kept it in, but while you arent paying attention it will be eating through the floor and the wires and its spores will be slowly steeping into the air ventilation system, and before you know it, it has slowly taken over and destroyed more than you even know.

And I did that for a little while. Until I went to open the closet where I kept it hidden and realized that the mold had spread into other areas and now I had to deal with ten times more than I originally thought. Bitterness is a dirty little root.

Recently my pastor had me reading a book called "When People are Big and God is Small." In Gods sovereign timing and grace, this book surprisingly spoke directly into the issues that I was facing. Specifically, one of the last examples hit really close to home, when a counselour is talking with a 27yrold woman who has complaints that her needs arent being met and she wont be better until people start fulfilling her and loving her, and he asks her 3 questions: 1. "What do you need" 2. "who or what controls you" and 3. "where do you put your trust." They are questions basically designed to help this woman see what she is giving the most weight to in her life and pointing her to the statement that "we tend to be controlled by the things we think we need." Ugh. She has her hope in the wrong thing. This book makes it easy for me to see some of my problems stem from a ridiculous fear of man and a terribly lacking fear of God.

Alot of people dont correctly understand fear of man/fear of God stuff... And its more than "being afraid" so to speak.. Its about who or what motivates you, controls you, where do you put your hope, how do you decide things, what controls your thought life. For example, purely example, if I had hard feelings toward someone and I COULD NOT get over them, and thoughts of this person consumed my mind, I shunned and avoided this person even if it destroyed unity in the church, thoughts of how they hurt me consumed my day, spent alot of time with a victim mentality, blah blah, thats a (freakishly) unhealthy fear of man. But, someone who has a healthy fear of God would realize that God is bigger than our pain, that He can redeem all of the hurt and make something beautiful out of it, and that we need to persevere and strive to surrender our pain, longings, issues to God no matter how hard it seems to be.

I was also listening to a sermon last night about forgiveness, and learned that my actions regarding "forgive men when they have wronged you & your heavenly Father will also forgive you" (mt6:14) is directly related to how I grasp the gospel. I think that in my case, I am being hurt by certain people way too easily because of my disproportionate fear of man, and I need to strive to forgive them eagerly because Christ forgave me, and simultaneously strive to make God numero uno.

God is redeeming my brokenness and making something beautiful with it. He is teaching me, the hard way albiet, but thats usually how I learn best, alot about forgiveness and dealing with hurt and sin- dead on -straight up- right away, not letting it linger and poison the rest of the water. He is also teaching me about his love and his plan, and how incredible and perfect it is. I dont know what I need. He does.

Im a little vague, and possibly unhelpful. But Ive said what I need to say.
I challenge you to ask yourself those threee questions and see what you come up with. Whom or what do you fear?

Show Us Your Life- Fave Vacation!

One of my fave blogs, Kelly's Corner, always has a weekly blog party! I have never really been able to participate because its always been like, show us your wedding dress, or show us your garden or something, and you know.. not applicable. haha.  But HOORAY this week its
"Show Off Your Favorite Vacation Spots!"

So, for those who dont know, I am studying for my Bachelors in Global Travel & Tourism Management. I love everything about traveling, vacations, tours, exploring, international situations, new languages, new foods, new cultures.. OHH My wanderlust is kicking in just talking about it!  Its impossible for me to pick my favorite spot, because I love EVERY place Ive ever been. But here are a few little tidbits of vacation love. Enjoy!
Maui Hawaii, 2007

I was lucky enough to get to Hawaii my senior year in highschool with my sister and grandparents. We stayed at a condo and explored every single inch of the island. One day Kailey and I biked down Mt. Haleakala at Dusk, an epic task! Above is a view of me at a luau and below is the view from our condo to the ocean!

below is a church we found that is made from all natural materials found on the island.(I think coral was what the outside of the building is made out of) . It was beautiful and super old.


Russia, 2009
I wouldnt call Russia a vacation trip at all. We were there specifically for missions, but I loved the time we were able to enjoy spending in Moscow being touristy fools. Here is a pic of me in front of St Basils in Red Square in Moscow.


Greece, 2009
I went to Greece as a part of my Travel Practicum at Johnson & Wales University. There were 20 girls and 1 boy in that class, and we each had a day where we were the tour guides and leaders. It was a great trip and we were able to see some beautiful and historical places. We went to Corinth, Mycenae, Epidaurus, an island cruise, and some other awesome places.


Temple of Poseidon

Island cruise

Hotel in Athens


Corinth Canal

Beach Day! And there was a pirate looking ship in the bay!


Our group at the Acropolis!
--Ok, Thanks for stopping by! Hope you enjoyed my pics=)
Leave some commenty love!

Philemon

Now, let me just tell you, Philemon is a small book (doesnt even have chapters, just 25 verses), but it packs a big punch. Take five seconds and read the whole thing HERE. It has also enouraged me alot this summer in various areas. One of the main themes running through the letter of Philemon is forgiveness wrapped in the fact that becoming a christian should transform our personal relationships. In a nut shell- Paul is writing a recomendation letter for a slave named Onesimus to a guy named Philemon in order to get Philemon to forgive Onesimus and accept him back into the household. Got that? Ok. See, Onesy here was a slave but he had run away and not kept a deal he had with Philemon, but on the road to escape, he met Paul and became a christian, and knew he had to go back and make things right. In order to pave the way for Onsey, Paul wrote this letter.

My favorite verses in this book touch on the very theme-
"If then you count me as a parnter, receive him as you would me. But if he has wronged you or owes anything, PUT THAT ON MY ACCOUNT." (vs 17-18) (Paul talking to Philemon)

This has G_O_S_P_E_L written all over it. Paul is urging Philemon to accept Onsey back into the house, to forgive him, and recieve him as if it was Paul himself. Imagine that. On top of that he tells Philemon to charge Paul with any debt that Onsey has incurred. It probably takes alot for Philemon to trust Onsey again, after running away, betraying his trust, breaking a deal.

Hi, Think about it. Philemon is God. Paul represents Jesus. We are Onsey. Jesus is begging God to take us back into his household for we have sinned against him. Jesus takes all our debt on himself, and pleads with the Father for forgiveness on our behalf, for God to receive us like he would receive his very own son.

Are you still with me? Let me know if this makes sense. Its powerful.
Ohh man, I love this book.

So back to personal relationships. As much as this verse is vertical in our relationship with God it is also horizontal in our relationship to others. Say someone wrongs you, guess what? We need to forgive them and welcome them back as if they were Jesus himself. Ouch, thats hard. But its what we need to do.


What do ya'll think?

--------
From the CSF Leadership blog

Guest Poem

A Cup of Tears

By Nathaniel DiLorenzo

A cup of Tears from you and me
A cup of tears is what I see
He holds them in his hands
Each drop a painful memory
A memory he understands
A single tear falls softly in
One of his own and clear of sin
I know I know He quietly speaks
It’s hard for one to live who seeks
Who seeks who seeks to live the truth
And fights and fights through all his youth
Just keep on pressing through
I’ve promised to help you
These tears will one day be forgotten
Poured upon the ground
And all that’s hard and all that’s rotten
Tossed away without a sound
I beg I beg just please stay true
Remember how much I love you

So this is a poem by my friend Nathan. He is a really awesome guy, originally from NY but living in Denver-ish CO area. I mentioned his brother in the last post, Isaiah.  They are probably two of the most godly guys I know, and I am encouraged by them often, even if we dont get to talk or see each other all that regularly. Nathan went to Japan on a missions trip this summer, and Isaiah went to Ethiopia with my best friend's brother. (sometimes they even use pirate words in regular conversation. Aye!) I relate to his poem 1. because I love poems with repetitive qualities, as that tends to be my style. It brings an urgency to the words.   2. Because its soo true and who cant relate? Sometimes we have all this angst or sadness or heartache, and maybe we forget that Jesus can relate, heck he can relate more than anyone ever. Imagine all the heartache or despair that he could have succombed to. Ahh, so great poem Nathan. Keep fighting the fight. Remember that we have someone who is always interceding for us. 

Dont ya just love the awkward color bead thing? I dont know why I used that. Oh well.

Be Thou Not Conformed...

This post is for Jake. I lost his email and needed to give him my thoughts on this verse. So, sorry about the obviously out-of-place nature of this post.

Romans 12: 1Therefore (A)I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to (B)present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.
2And do not (C)be conformed to (D)this world, but be transformed by the (E)renewing of your mind, so that you may (F)prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
3For through (G)the grace given to me I say to everyone among you (H)not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to (I)each a measure of faith. "


The message is being directed at youth-groupers, kids in an extremely peer-pressure infested environment during one of the more decisively impressionable period of their life. So, at youth group, their told and influenced not to be just like the world.

The obvious part of this verse is the one usually focused on; don't conform. Our culture celebrates individualism, and encourages everyone to conform to its standard of nonconformity. Don't believe everything you're told, don't listen to people you think are stupid (teachers, parents, stuffy church leaders).

The fact is, you're going to conform to something, model your living after someone. We learn to be what we are.

The Bible tells us to conform to His ways, AS OPPOSED to the ways of the world. It tells us that we should be noticibly different. We shouldn't swear, gossip, lie, bad-mouth authority, and all of the other things YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T DO BUT DO ANYWAY.

That's just it. You're in youth group. You know this verse, and you know what it means. You know what it would take to be different.

But the second part of this verse stands out to me. "so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." This is the "why" of this verse. What is it saying?

I think there's a really vital element of evangelism here. You're not supposed to be different just for your own sake of just because God said so. When you conform in obedience to God and live noticibly differently from the world around you, your life will be good. Not easy, and you probably won't be rich or be able to eat whatever you want and not gain weight, but your life will PROVE to yourself and others that God's way leads to goodness. That His plan is perfect. People see each other's lives go up in flames all the time. You know - you gossip about it all the time. But when someone's life in successful for the purposes of God, as you can be SURE it will be when you CONFORM TO HIS LIKENESS, then you PROVE Him to the world.

That's what I think, Yacob.

I know its 3am, but...

Ive been a little obsessive lately. What now you ask? Well, for some reason, Ive fervently been on a webtrail of other New England/RI bloggers. (actually some upstate NY people too..). For some reason, stumbling onto a new website or blog thats about life in Rhodey just gets me really excited.. Its interesting to see how others live their lives. Its interesting to see where other people spend their time or the little places they like to hang out. Maybe its my way of finding my own sort of Bekaj in Rhode Island.

Pause.. what is Bekaj? Well, first of all, it represents a place that ONLY a local would ever find. Someone who totally knows the area and stumbled upon it in their wanderings. Second, more specifically, it is the place in Lockport New York along State St in the undeveloped land next to the Erie Canal that Breanna, Ember, Kailey, Me and Jorin discovered one spring afternoon while wandering around. It was a rocky outcropping hidden among brush and trees, set back from the road along a dirt bike trail. We would go there and play random games, feeling a sort of secret camaraderie. Sometimes we would bring our dogs there, or I even remember bringing fellow classmates down there. That parcel of land next to the canal holds so many ridiculous memories for a kid. After Kodey was healed from breaking his leg/hip I would take him down there and run with him. We had a trail, we had a routine, and we would run the whole length, from the end of Minard st all the way to the Summit St bar. I remember one summer we were both able to run there and back- about 1.2 miles. That was the best summer of my life. I think the end of 9th grade. Jorin and I also had many memories down there searching for the ominous hobo Joe. Nate, Killian, Steffan, or Kt would join us in our quests over abandoned bridges and through back woods to find Hobo Joe. Sometimes we found traces of him. Jorin and I even found an abandoned dock once.
But thats what Im talking about. Places that the average tourist or student resident would never find. These people's websites and blogs seem to offer me clues of where to go. Piece by piece of where I need to explore, a puzzle letting me know where has already been discovered, and where I need to forge ahead to find my own littly rhodey Bekaj. For some reason I have such a strong urge to find that place. That place where I can go and run. Where I feel secret camaraderie, that place less travelled, less exposed to the public eye, to bring friends, find secret hobos. Its an urge made stronger by my natural curiousity and wanderlust as well as my love for all things local and new. Some places I have been excited to find already have been the Cemetery between North Main and Branch. There are hills, secret temples, and a lake all hidden from street view. Also, India Point Park. Surely many know about it, but I always get excited to go there, having discovered its jungle gym glory one night while galavanting with my friend Alex.
There are a few other leads... more to come..


BTW, speaking of local blogs and neighborhoods and whatnot, see some of my pics here GC:P National Night Out  and here  GC:P Smith Hill 

re: Bitterness pt 2

I'm ok you know. My life still goes on as I deal with this stupid problem. Looking at it from a wide angle view, it all seems so ridiculous and unworthy of my stress. I know and earnestly hope that in one year there will be no remnant of this balderdash. Also in eternity, we will just be loving siblings, worshiping our Creator with no hindrances.

My friend Isaiah is a funny guy. He told me that he too is trying to oust a root of bitterness in his life, or as he says "been putting weed killer on it, good stuff that Bible is." Hes a funny guy, and always really encouraging, always directing my attention past myself to the Creator.

Im trying to kill this junk off by just being stronger. Well.. technically I am weak, and when I am weak, He is strong, so I am just being more reliant on God. That sounded confusing. Another helpful thing is working on having more self control and boundaries when it comes to this situation. There are just times when I need to rely on others, or my self, or God, and not on this person. Focusing on other relationships is helpful, and just working on being more encouraging to others is awesome.

Its still hard though and sometimes I just have so many questions that arent getting answers because others feel like Ive beat this situation to death and it should be easy to figure out. Not so much.

This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
22 Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
24 “ The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,

“ Therefore I hope in Him!”
25 The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
26 It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the LORD.
27 It is good for a man to bear
The yoke in his youth.

Lamentations 3:21-27

Kailey, You mean this picture?

this was when bryan and kailey were trekking across the tundra in search of a new home for themselves. it was a hard time really.

Im at work and I cant stop laughing out loud. Like ridiculously loud.

On the lighter side...

I just had waaayy to much fun.

Oh Alissa..

Im a silly girl sometimes. Actually.. Im absolutely ridiculous. This post is a little more close to home that usual.. but I think you can handle it. Tonight I was walking home thinking about Person X "they didnt do this, they didnt say that, I thought we were friends again, why did they look at me like that, why am I so short with them, maybe I should just not care anymore, confusion, confusion, annoyance, dissapointment, blah blah blah."

So recently I was reading a friends blog and it was a little post on bitterness. I was mainly reading it just to read it.. see what they had to say.. blah blah. There were some questions asked in the post about how to know if you are bitter or not. I went through them, one by one, and by the end, I felt a sharp pain in my heart. Dang Alissa... you are freakin' bitter!!

Am I short with certain people? Is there someone that you just cant stand to be around? Do you feel dissapointed or in anguish often? Do you feel like God has let you down?

Not specifically all of those.. but yeah. Tonight I came home feeling extremely disappointed. Feeling like, "God what the heck is going on?" This isnt what you promised me. And Im not even the one that got myself into that relationship or situation... I was brought into it by someone who just didnt know what they wanted and wrecked my heart. Why am I the only funtional one in this friendship. Clearly that other person is a five year old and I am the adult here. And clearly they just keep hurting me, no matter how many times I try to make it work. I think its not practical to stay in contact with this person. I know I see them often, but I can just ignore them. The church doesnt need this relationship to work.. because its just not working.

Cue five year old whining. Seriously Alissa? How prideful and foolish. Clearly God is bigger than this pitiful issue that is in your OWN heart. And all those thoughts are pretty much lies. Someone cant just come in and wreck your heart. Sure they can definitely make moves to do so, purposeful or not, but if your heart is being protected and its in the right place, then it wouldnt have even happened like it did. And God is sovereign. How dare you get angry and think things could have been better. For goodness sake you dont know whats good for yourself!

Hebrews makes it BLUNTLY clear:

Hebrews 12:15 (New International Version)
See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

Yeah exacly. Bitterness causes disunity. It also means that someone is missing out on the grace of God (me). Also.. someone who is bitter.. aka a bitter root, is noooo good. Its like a five year old going and sucking on wasabi. They are going to throw up and cry alot. You wont be good for the church.. or for any relationships for that matter.. you will just make people throw up and cry alot. Goodness gracious. This is not ok.

I need to get rid of this bitterness asap. My friends article implies that bitterness is less about you and that other person and more about you and God. Its about asking God for forgiveness, as well as letting go and letting God. Letting Him back in control of our lives, giving him power over our anger, not hoarding it to ourselves in a deep cavern in our hearts, perfect place for bacteria to grow btw.

Also, I researched some sermons and other verses on bitterness, (Battling the Unbelief of Bitterness by John Piper specifically).. here is a little tidbit.

Anger is very dangerous. If it takes root in your heart and becomes a grudge or an unforgiving spirit, it can destroy you. That's the point of Jesus' parable in Matthew 18 about the unforgiving servant: after having his massive debt cancelled by the king, he refuses to cancel the tiny debt of his friend. And so the king throws him into jail for his heartlessness. Jesus closes the parable with this warning in verse 35: "So also will my heavenly Father do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart."

Man oh man. I dont want to be destroyed with this. I need freedom from it. I need forgiveness, and I need to forgive. So I know this was a really awkward and long blog post, just keep me in your prayers. Pray that I fight sin, that I accept my forgiveness, that I forgive, that others are patient with me, and that this doesnt grow into anything deeper or darker than it already is. It needs to be shot, put in the past. God is a redeemer and will persevere me until the end. I know it for a fact.

Why I Love My Job [part 2]

I think this picture is worth a thousand words. I took it tonight while working at the Crab Shack. Its in the front window of Cache. Freaking hilarious.

That is all for now. =)

Roasty Toasty Princess!

Decided that I should use the photo mat that I had laying around for ridiculous midnight arty times. Its now crookedly hanging in the dining room. I wish I had spray paint.

No Just Isnt Good Enough
By Alissa Graham
For some reason Ive got it in my head
that no just isnt good enough
and telling me such isnt good.
I dont believe you're being honest
even if you swear truth till your dead.
Surely you think Im a monster
but I promise I'm never wrong when Im like this.
Dont look back and just walk this way,
even if it's just for kicks
I promise I'm never wrong when I'm like this.
You bet Ive heard more no's than not
but to every one ive said yes to that.



                                                                     kitty loves a bow.
and if you can figure out what "Roasty Toasty Princess" is from I will literally give you a dollar. Kailey cant win.