This weekend, I attended a Christian collegiate conference in Hull, Massachussetts. It was a splended time with my group and with many other college groups. Here is a picture of the Johnson & Wales Christian Student Fellowship:
"God has the power to show you who God is.
And this is God showing me who God is.
He's a jealous God. He doesn't like someone else becoming number one in my heart."
And for some reason I really relate to this. I lost focus on what was really important and I was dwelling on something secondary and the more I thought I was going to loose it, the tighter I gripped. But you cant hoard things in the Kingdom of God, especially if they become what your mind obsesses over and practically worships. God is not pleased when that happens and He will not let it happen for too long before He sends you on your way, empty handed and into the land of "Hey why dont you remember who gave you this gift in the first place and worship me."
I think thats where Ive been for a few months now. In that crazy land of emptiness and realization that I have to repent of my idoltry and make God totally number one again. Even if it was just a sidetrack for a minute or an hour it doesnt matter. ANYTHING "good" or "bad" thats unchecked that takes God's place in your heart for more than a second is an idol. I think God has brought me a long way since entering this land. He has allowed me to realize what happened and that I need to turn my eyes back to Him. After this weekend and all the thinking I did, I think Im finally seeing the end of this empty and alone season and the beginning of a new refreshing one where God is the center, my portion, my rock, my sword, my shield.
Hope that all made sense.
Time to pack up and go home.