Married or Single: For Better or Worse

Married or Single: For Better or Worse By John Piper, May 2007

Following this weekend’s sermon entitled “Single in Christ: A Better Name Than Sons and Daughters,” Pastor John received a letter asking, “If what you say about the blessing of singleness is true, then why would one even want to be married?” Here is his response.

Dear Friend, You ask: “What is at all compelling about marriage? Why would we even want to be married?"

  The “compelling” comes only from the right combination of internal realities and objective truths about God’s design for marriage. When the right combination is not there, marriage is not compelling and should not be. I would say the same thing about singleness.

The objective truths about marriage are primarily God’s design: 
1. To display his covenant keeping love between Christ and the church,
2. To sanctify the couple with the peculiar pains and pleasures of marriage,
3. To beget and rear a generation of white-hot worshippers, and
4. And to channel good sexual desire into holy paths and transpose it into worshipful foretastes of heaven’s pleasures.

 That is a high calling, but it is only compelling if it meets with internal longings for God that lean strongly into these designs.

The objective truths about singleness are also primarily God’s design: 
1. To display the spiritual nature of God’s family that grows from regeneration and faith, not procreation and sex,
2. To sanctify the single with the peculiar pains and pleasures of singleness,
3. To capture more of the single’s life for non-domestic ministry that is so desperately needed in the world,
4. And to magnify the all-satisfying worth of Christ that sustains life-long chastity.

 That is a high calling, but it is only compelling if it meets with internal longings for God that lean strongly into these designs. 

I encourage you to check out the full article:  Desiring God Resources